Yesterday marked seven years since my mom's passing, As the day approached I found myself pondering on the significance of the number seven. Over and again, the phrase "seventy times seven" came to mind. This phrase comes from a passage in the Bible where Peter asks the savior how many time he needs to forgive those who have wronged him. Jesus' answer? "Seventy times seven (Matt. 18:21-22)." While the lesson taught in these verses is first and foremost, patience, Elder Robert C. Oaks commented in an October 2006 General Conference address, "to forgive seventy times seven certainly take a large measure of patience."
So, patience.
I feel that I have been generally patient given my load, but I realized as I pondered that it is not over yet. The patience will need to continue. And I think that is where it begins. I have discovered that patience is an understanding--an understanding that our trials are not over and we have to to put our trust in God's plan and timing. I have likewise come to learn that patience is not reluctant. It is a willingness to submit and let someone else be in charge. It is a willingness to wait it out. And it is a willingness to be "okay" with it. By saying that we have to be "okay" with God's plan, I am not purporting that I believe God expects us to be happy about all the things that happen in our lives. I do not believe God expects me to be happy that my mom missed both my high school and university graduations. Or that she could not escort me through the temple. Or that she is not here to give me dating and marriage advice (because she freaking knew everything--ask anyone). But I do believe God asks me to be "okay" with his plan, which I choose to define as accepting it and for Pete's sake stop whining about it. And I am "okay" with it. I am not perfect (I started packing for a June Hawaii trip in April because I could. not. wait. ...) but I am practicing patience as I learn patience which is what God asks.
So, why?
Why is this so important that I spent weeks thinking about this topic? Firstly, it is a commandment to exercise patience. God told us to do so. Dapat lang (great Tagalog phrase if you are interested in looking up the meaning). Secondly, it is a Christ-like attribute. One that I impatiently told one of my mission companions she needed to study during a companionship inventory, but that is beside the point... Jesus Christ was the only person to 100% successfully go through mortal life. I want to be successful too, I so try to follow the Savior's example. Thirdly, most of the time we cannot do anything to make our trials go away so life is just better when we are patient.
This might sound crazy, but I am grateful that it has been seven years. It has given me the opportunity to reflect more on what I can do to become more like my Savior and qualify to live in an eternal family. I dearly hope that I do not have to live 466 more years to make it to the "seventy times seven," but if that is required of me I will do my best to be patient.
